HellraiserHellraiser (1987)

Today we go back to my roots: actually good horror movies with plots and stuff. Hellraiser was one that I watched for the first time when I was 7 or 8 and it blew my mind. Sometimes, going back, you are disappointed that something isn’t as awesome as you remember it…but not today.

Hellraiser is everything you want in a horror movie. There’s greed, intrigue, cheating spouses, awful people, and they set the stage for a morality tale with a twist. I mean, what is the limit of awfulness, how do you call the darkest fairies of pain and pleasure when you feel you’ve reached the ultimate limit. Evidently, you do that with a puzzle box. They say it can show you heaven or hell…I doubt that. It’s bloody for sure, but it’s not gore all the time. That’s why the nasty stuff sticks, because it’s infrequent. You can see the sinews for the buckets of blood.  The one person who is not awful (but a little annoying) wins the day, kind of, except they leave a hanger for you. Some weird cricket-eating hobo takes the box, for more on this, see Hellraiser II. I will.