Hellraiser: Inferno Hellraiser (V): Inferno (2000)

Could someone please explain to my why I did this to myself. I mean, isn’t this supposed to be fun? This movie was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen…I’m borderline angry about it. I don’t even think it was a Hellraiser movie, actually. It was an attempt at a 1930’s detective mood with all the worst parts of a David Lynch movie and it was feat. some characters from Hellraiser. If Pinhead was too verbose in the last movie, he was almost non-existent in this one (except, you know, to punch us in the face with the MORAL OF THE STORY at the end). The new Chattering Cenobyte was way, waaaay too chattering. Went from being creepy to being irritating. The other new Cenobytes were okay, but they all looked the same, which is no fun at all. They used the same torture over and over and, as torture goes, it was all pretty mundane and human, not at all extra horrible and otherworldly. Instead of a sweeping classical score they went with new age porno music. And why was it called Inferno? I don’t even think they light so much as a cigarette. Skip right over this one if you care about anything in the world at all.

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